Weddings Atlantic

Writing Your Own Wedding Vows? Try These 5 Tips

Brittney Toner

So, you’ve decided you want to write your own wedding vows. Where do you start? We’ve gathered up five of the most helpful tips to help ensure there’s not a dry eye in the house on your wedding day.

Do your research

If there’s one piece of advice we can offer, it’s to do your own research. Whether you’ve been to a hundred weddings, or just one – take the time to read other vows to get a good sense of what appeals to you. Are you going for pure, raw emotion with a hint of laughter? A set of vows that only you the two of you will understand? Or are you the perpetual ‘funny couple’ always looking to make others laugh? Your vows should reflect who you are as people, as well as the ‘vibe’ of your overall wedding.

Settle on a format

Be sure you both sit down well in advance to discuss what you’re both aiming for in terms of time and overall execution. If there’s an embarrassing story that you’d rather not be told, be sure to speak up, now. There’s nothing worse than your partner spilling a detail in front of your most loved friends and family that you were otherwise trying to keep on the D-L. Decide if you’ll be sharing your vows with one another before the ceremony, or if it’ll be a surprise.

Write it all out

Don’t get overwhelmed in the beginning. Spend some time thinking about what you love most about your partner, and what you want to speak to. Make point form notes, or keep a list in your phone of bulleted points to consult later. If inspiration strikes, run with it. That’s why it’s super important to give yourself plenty of time to write your vows. Eventually, you’ll continue to hone in on the story you want to tell, and you’ll prepare a ‘rough’ draft.

Remove cryptic details and stale clichés

Your vows should come naturally and (forgive the cliché) from the heart. Now isn’t the time to demonstrate your love for similes or alliteration or the English language generally (unless that’s your style, and if so – carry on!). Continue to edit your vows until you feel they’re the best, most true representation of your heart. Don’t be too cryptic, though – you’ll want your guests to be able to understand most (or all) of what you’re trying to say.  

Practice makes perfect

Practice your vows over and over again. Practice in front of your bridesmaids and your dog and anyone else who will listen. Record yourself reading your vows, too. The more you practice, the more comfortable you’ll feel when the time comes.